Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
