We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Someone came in the potted fern
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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