My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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