we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just found puke in my bra..
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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