Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
