I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
