Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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