i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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