I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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