if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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