she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
