Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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