This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
