I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
