I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We're too hungover to prance.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
