He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
