maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
