apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
