was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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