I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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