mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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