i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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