my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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