found the other keg... it's in the tree
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
