if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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