What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
