i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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