Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
