when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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