doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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