I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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