and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
