screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
