it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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