I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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