i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
