Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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