My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
