his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
