Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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