GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
this hospital has no fireball
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
