I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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