You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
