I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
