She went from zero to smokin in five shots
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
