pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
