Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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