So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
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