I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
