This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
