He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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